I ask men out. Not to make a point or be political but because I know who I want to share my company with. Through a combination of self-discovery, parental influence and my interactions with my friends, I want to be able to pick and choose who I bring into my life. I have learned that I am valuable, and I have the power to choose the people I bring into my life.
Having grown up in a household of women with the only man being my father, we were groomed to be strong. We were raised to be independent and to not compare our successes with those of the opposite sex.
Having been blessed with women in his life, my father always ensured that we felt his love. He has always ensured that we’re aware of the expectations that society has of us and has ensured that my sisters and I know that we have the choice to push that aside.
I ask men out and sometimes it’s nerve wrecking. Sometimes I have a little bit of liquid encouragement and sometimes I just do it. We are in a society where it's heavily implied that women don't have that power. Some men get scared and others judge but over time I've learned that’s ok.
I have also learned that me being the way that I am, considering my age, my upbringing, and my level of independence, it is ok for me to go up to a person I want to spend more time with and ask him just that. His response is completely up to him, and "no" is a completely valid answer, without explanation.
I've become accustomed to doing things for myself. My parents raised my sisters and I in such a way that being independent women is all we know and I am eternally grateful for that. They have ensured that we know that we are beautiful, smart, and confident.
Doing things for myself, particularly on my ongoing journey to financial independence, has opened my eyes to what it is I want. It has opened my eyes to the type of people I want to spend and invest my time with (a resource that, at this point in time, I view to be a currency). It has taught me to be selfish with myself. I am the curator of the people I want in my life and that’s why I ask men out.